Play with your kids...
...let them be silly!
Well, it is time to write the continuation of the post I wrote a few days ago. It has been a very emotional couple of days for me, so I have avoided this post for fear I would get carried away in my emotion. I am better now, so here it goes!
The other day the kids were watching some old home movies on the computer. I love watching them too because I love seeing the kids when they were little and hearing their sweet little voices from years gone by. However, this time it was not as enjoyable. It was actually a little disturbing.
I watched the videos and was reminded of how rigid I was with them when it came to certain things. I was reminded of how often I would get upset with them over things that, looking back, were so stupid. I won't go into detail because what the Father revealed to me is that it wasn't about the specific "thing." It was about me.
Do you ever get an idea in your head of how you want things to be? Not a grand, long-term idea, I just mean, maybe you want Christmas morning to go a certain way, or maybe you want you kids to behave a certain way at a certain moment when it is really not in their personality at all to act that way. Do you get upset when it doesn't happen the way you planned it in your mind?
THAT was my problem. I looked at those videos and it was as plain as day! It wasn't that the kids were doing anything wrong, it was simply that they were not doing what I wanted them to do. Don't misunderstand, they were not disobeying because I didn't verbally tell them what I wanted or expected from them. I know I am revealing my stupidity, but it's something I didn't realize I was doing.
Now I look back at those videos and think, "My poor babies." I took life too seriously when it came to my kids. They just wanted to have fun and play and be kids and I, especially when it came to the video camera, wanted perfect little angels to show up on video. What I didn't appreciate was that, although they certainly weren't/aren't perfect, I did have little angels who needed to be recorded being themselves despite what may show up on camera later on. Who cares? It was just kids trying to be kids and I was trying to make them little adults.
So, let them take the video camera and record and play to their hearts content. It makes for wonderful, spontaneous, and hilarious memories down the road. Worse case scenario now is that I have to delete something they did because it was totally inappropriate, after all, they are just kids! I may be "preaching to the choir," but relax and laugh and play with your kids. Don't try to make them little adults, they will be that soon enough!
I don't want to look back on my time with my children and having more regrets than I do joys. Every time I see, or hear, those videos playing now I feel like I need to apologize to my kids over and over again. The Father will heal that in me and eventually I will be able to look back at them and know it was a lesson learned early enough that I didn't cause lasting damage to my kids (haha)! Until then, it is certainly a reminder to lighten up and have fun and try to find my inner child! It's a lot more fun than being a grown up!
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